Slowly emerging from the isolated cave that I had put myself into, the light burns my eyes and I squint. Only focusing to see people everywhere, people of all colours and shapes. Some radiate light, others attract people like black holes.
I put myself in that cave because of past experiences that went wrong, terribly wrong. So I didn’t plan on leaving, not until I heard something. A voice, your voice, telling me that it’s safe. So I left, searching for you. Running and listening, slowly getting closer. Until I reached a savanna and in the centre I found you. So I sat under your wing, bathing under the warmness of you. Enjoying every second of you.
But then other people came and broke me. I tried to be nice, breaking my shell for them, even though it hurt me last time. “This time, it won’t” you say. But all my acts of kindness only get hit back by all their words. The same ones I heard last time. The same ones that led me to my cave. The light dims out and the darkness takes over. They aren’t helping, they’re wrecking me. I tried to be nice, only being hit back by all their criticism. I’m a horrible person for treating them nicely. I’m a complete and utter bitch for putting them before myself. I’m a mean person for spending all my money on them, ending with nothing to last me for the rest of the week.
I am being lead back to my cave, back to the darkness. Where I was safe.
Safe from Them.